N.D.T.A.

So as you all know I have some weird crazy dreams. Well if you add any type of pain medicine (morphine and percocet) to that the craziness and weirdness multiplies by a million.  Since I have spent the majority of the last 3 days doped up on pain meds you can imagine that I have had some pretty unusual dreams. I thought I would be nice and share a few of the ones that I remember with you! (I am so sweet, huh?)

• My Dad called the chief of Darnell and chewed him out for making me wait so long for my surgery. (I went in for my appointment at 10 a.m. and was not seen until after 3 p.m.)
• My Mom had a baby when she was 14. She gave her up for adoption and her name was Allysa.
• Carlos was fishing and I kept tangling up his fishing line and he was getting super mad at me.
• I went on a road trip with my Dad’s entire side of the family. Somehow we ended up at the school I went to when we lived in Evanston. My Dad and I were playing on the jungle gym and I got stuck in a tiny space and had a panic attack because I am claustrophobic.
• While we were on the road trip somehow Timothy, Jeff, Scotty and two random guys got thrown in jail. They thought it was my fault. When they escaped the two random guys captured me and tattooed my ankle with a coat hanger, windex, lysol and a pen (I don’t think that’s even possible) and it hurt really bad. The tatoo said NDTA. When I asked them what it meant they told me, “Never do that again!”
• I was at work talking to Christina and SGT Adams. They were looking for someone to work overtime. I said I would. I then moved (in real life-ouch) and realized that I had just had surgery and couldn’t work. When I moved it woke me up at which time I made a note (on facebook) to blog about my crazy dreams later.

I’ve had probably at least a dozen more crazy dreams in the last few days but I don’t want you all thinking I’m crazy so I’ll keep those to myself!

Another day at Darnell

Dear Darnell Army Community Hospital,

I HATE you! The two extra rows of parking spaces you built were clearly not enough. Please tell your receptionist lady not to give my dirty looks for being 5 minutes late for my appointment. If it were not for the lack of parking spaces I would have been 15 minutes early like you requested. BUILD A PARKING GARAGE, please!

Thank you,

Jessica

Dear Lady with the screaming child,

It is very unfortunate that you and I just happened to have our pre op appointments at the same time. Even more unfortunate that I woke up this morning with a massive headache. If you ever have an appointment that is expected to last three hours again please bring something to entertain your child! And if your little sweet devil of a child happens to throw a tantrum anyways please don’t just sit there and let it happen for three hours. The rest of the world will be very thankful!

Thanks,

Jessica

P.S. Thank you to you and your wonderful sweet evil bratty child for contributing to my massive headache!

Dear Lady with the child that gets into everything,

Next time your child gets into something please put down the bag of chips, get your large lumpy rear out of the chair, walk your smiling booty across the room and get your child. I am sure after three hours I was not the only one that was a little bit extreemly annoyed with hearing, “Mimi no, no! Mimi NO, MIMI no!” almost continuously.

Thanks,

Jessica

Dear Parents of the two cute three-year old twins,

Thank you SO much for teaching your children to act like civilized human beings and behave themselves in public. I don’t think I could have dealt with 4 screaming kids for three hours. Also thank you to your kids for entertaining sweet devil child for the last 10 minutes of my appointment.

Thanks,

Jessica

I love Jelly Beans!

A friend of mine recently posted this question on her facebook, “What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you thank God for today?” It made me think and I have come up with a list of things I will be thanking God for today (in no particular order)

• My goofy kiddos
• A wonderful husband
• Awesome parents, siblings, in-laws and future in-laws
• All my adorable nieces and nephews
• Taco John’s
• Nasal decongestants
• Jelly beans
• Running water
• Facebook (yes I am thankful for facebook)
• Cute shoes
• Air conditioning
• Diet coke
• Cell phones
• Chewing gum
• Hot pink nail polish
• Cars & airplanes
• Internet
• A government that WILL NOT be shutting down and WILL continue to pay soldiers (I hope)
• Makeup
• Fudge ice cream bars
• Good books
• Laughter
• Close friends
• My husband’s ability to cook fantastic food
• Fantastic food
• A job that I enjoy (most of the time)
• A house
• Low gas prices (I may be too late for this)

There are a billion more things I am thankful for but I think that if I woke up tomorrow with only the things on the list I would be a pretty happy camper!